Lil thoughts

I simply don't know why I am always forcing myself to like my secondary school life.
It's not that i dislike my secondary school life or what but it's just something that I'm hoping for is not here yet.
The secondary school life that I always wanted is just not what I am having now.
Yea. maybe I shldn't have it. That's why it is call a dream.
Duh~

Glimpse at some of the schoolmates blogs.
Lots of thought pops up in my mind.
Did I missed out anything?
Question marks everywhere ???

Secondary school life is like the most precious moment in life.
Is it?
Or a time where teenagers shld do something crazy . memorable or something that will still make u smile in the middle of the night 30 years later.

Jealous?
Probably yes!!!
Why?
Good question.

Some of em' do not have very good results but they have a gang of besties around em' all the time. Every minute and every day.
Maybe not physically but mentally nana.
I want it to.
I am not greedy just one.
One will be the best of the best.
Studying all day long.
Stuck in the books and solving the equations,memorising Bio, building up communication with the scientific calculator and sometimes you had already miss something really important in life.
Friends.
Not those Hi Bye friends but a true friend.

5 years in Chong Hwa.
It's really something sad for a 17 years old teenager still searching a buddy for lifetime.
I really thought that people like weisyn , penguin , sulim , czemin , kelly maybe one of em' but I don't know what has gone wrong.
I 1st thought she will be the one but she left when we started to get closer and I didn't make an effort to continue our friendship.
Another special one, indescribable.
I don't know how to define this one.

Am I taking all this in a wrong way?
I shldn't be stress over this actually.
Things should just come naturally to me right?
As Denji said,
Feelings come first.

What is feelings?
Haha.
Cold-blooded Val :)