thoughts flowing in as a 20s

You know what? It's actually 1.07am now, on the 20th of July. OH MAN! It's my birthday. *weeeeeeee*

There is just so much so feelings and thoughts rushing through my mind at this hour that I cannot just hop onto my bed and sleep. It needs to be expressed and so I'm here.

*close twitter tab, close facebook tab* continue writing (:

Just had my early birthday celebration with the high school friends, the same bunch of people whom I always spend my birthday with, it's a blessing and I thank God for it to happen.

To be frank, this is the year that I received the most birthday cards throughout my life. I guess that's a sign of people starting to treat you as an adult and of all the meaningful words in the cards *hmmph* they are just plainly indescribable. My mum really has got the talent in searching for birthday cards (maybe not a talent but she is really good at it), cards that she gave me all this while never fail to make me tear. It's the tear of joy. There is no way and nowhere where I can get a mother like her. All the support and strength that she have given throughout the past 20 years is just :')

As I am preparing for my EOS right now, all the stress and whatever stupid-negative thoughts that you can think of will just flow out subconsciously. Even how hard I make myself to think positive, be positive and maybe not think about it, it will still come out somehow. struggling everyday, having palpitations like mad, i really wanted to be happy while studying but in fact it always turns out to be stressful. aren't I suppose to like what I am doing now? perhaps peer pressure? i wish that was only because of peer pressure.

COMPETITIVE. is the only word to describe a medical student life. There is no end for us, you gotta study and keep learning till the day you stop breathing. it's basically YOU marrying the PROFESSIONAL. there is no divorce in this "marriage" unless you back out and sell wanton mee. no joke man.

All the mix feelings and almost 24/7 facing the notes for consecutively 2 weeks has totally drained me from 200% hydrated to a de-de-dehyrated state right now. Somehow, I'm thankful that I have my birthday in between so that I can give a valid reason for sneaking out from studies but at the mean time, i feel so sad because I NEVER NEED TO PREPARE FOR AN EXAM ON MY BIRTHDAY!

Guess you need to look for a balance in everything, yeah?

I had a great time. thanks to all ze beloved friends for your time and I am grateful to have yall!
I can't wait for my dinner feast on Saturday with my family!

Have a beautiful 20th of July peeps!

XOXO 

first sign off from the JUST TURNED 20th,
Valerieeee!